The Woods

​Ellis comes upon Jane. Jane has been crying. She covers up. Ellis has been crying too. He covers up less well. Kind of a drippy, snotty mess. 
ELLIS
Who are you?
JANE
Who are you?
ELLIS
Why are you here?
JANE
Why are you here?
ELLIS
We can’t keep asking each other the same question.
JANE
I’m a tree.
ELLIS
I stopped crying days ago.
JANE
You were totally just crying.
ELLIS
So were you too. 
JANE
This is my woods.
ELLIS
Woods aren’t a person’s. 
JANE
Are too. Mine. Planted.
ELLIS
Well, then, the rest of the world is mine. Stay stuck in your stupid woods. 
JANE
You’ll hurt our feelings calling us stupid.
ELLIS
Who? 
JANE
The other trees and the lichen and the frogs and the red squirrels and the mushrooms. You don’t own the rest of the world.
ELLIS
You don’t own the woods. Admit it.
JANE
My roots drink from the hidden stream. My fingers are leaves. My rings tell my age. I drink the sun. 
ELLIS
I know all about photosynthesis. Humans can’t do it. Only plants. 
JANE
Yummy glucose.
ELLIS
My parents are dead.
JANE
My mother is dead.
ELLIS
What about your father?
JANE
I don’t know him. 
ELLIS
He could be alive?
JANE
I don’t know him.
ELLIS
Might he come help you?
JANE
Why do I need help?
ELLIS
Your mother is dead. 
JANE
Your parents are dead. 
ELLIS
You need help. Eating. Money.
JANE
There was a twenty in my Mom’s purse. And she always has had coins in her pockets. I didn’t go through the pockets yet.
ELLIS
So you’re not a tree.
JANE
Oh, I’m a tree.
ELLIS
Tree’s don’t have money. Tree’s don’t need money.
JANE
I’m a money tree. 
ELLIS
If you were a money tree, you’d have as much money as my Dad. 
JANE
How much money does your Dad have?
ELLIS
Had. Dead. I never knew. But now I know. Alot. I have his password. It’s my birthday and my middle initial capitalized. Kind of a dumb password. 
JANE
My Mom didn’t have a computer.
ELLIS
How did she work?
JANE
She cleaned houses.
ELLIS
You’re poor. 
JANE
What’s poor? 
ELLIS
What you are.
JANE
What are you?
ELLIS
Rich.
JANE
What’s rich?
ELLIS
More money than poor. 
JANE
We have a computer at school. I like looking at pictures in museums. 
ELLIS
I have a computer at home and at school.
JANE
There is no more school.
ELLIS
There’s school online.
JANE
What’s online?
ELLIS
On the computer. You mean you haven’t been going to school?
JANE
School’s closed. 
ELLIS
School is on every day online. 
JANE
School is totally closed.
ELLIS
You need me.
JANE
I don’t know you.
ELLIS
I’m rich. 
JANE
I don’t know you, Rich.
ELLIS
Rich isn’t my name.
JANE
You keep saying it like it is. 
ELLIS
What’s your name?
JANE
What’s yours?
ELLIS
Groan. Repeating questions again. 
JANE
Jane.
ELLIS
Ellis.
JANE
Ellis is your name?
ELLIS
Yes.
JANE
That’s a funny name. 
ELLIS
I know.
JANE
Does it bother you to have a funny name?
ELLIS
Does it bother you to have such a plain name? 
JANE
Jane isn’t plain.
ELLIS
Plain Jane. Except you’re not.
JANE
What?
ELLIS
Plain. 
JANE
Then why’d you say it?
ELLIS
Just an expression. 
JANE
The woodpeckers like that tree. Not that tree. They made a big hole in that tree. Not that tree. 
ELLIS
How come the woodpeckers haven’t made a hole in you?
JANE
Because I’m not real wood, silly, I’m a human.
ELLIS
That’s what I told you. So you admit you aren’t a tree.
JANE
I’m anything I want to be. Aren’t you?
ELLIS
I’m only me. Sad. Orphaned me.
JANE
You should use your imagination. The world is big. There are many things to be.
ELLIS
I don’t have an imagination.
JANE
Sad.
ELLIS
That’s what I said. Do you sleep here?
JANE
I have a room.
ELLIS
What do you mean a room?
JANE
There’s a hot plate.
ELLIS
That was where you lived with your Mom?
JANE
Of course. 
ELLIS
But not your Dad?
JANE
I don’t know my Dad.
ELLIS
He left?
JANE
Why are you so interested in my Dad?
ELLIS
Is he made of wood?
JANE
You talk about him more than we ever did.
ELLIS
I’m just used to there being a mother and a father. 
JANE
There isn’t always. I’m not the only one without a father.
ELLIS
Okay. I guess. I only know what I know. 
JANE
I only know what I know. And everything else and nothing too.
ELLIS
Do you have books?
JANE
I have one. 
ELLIS
I have lots of books.
JANE
You have money. You have books. 
ELLIS
I have a big house. 
JANE
You have. You have. 
ELLIS
I don’t have parents. 
JANE
I have a twenty and probably alot of coins.
ELLIS
I would share with you.
JANE
Share?
ELLIS
Share.
JANE
Why?
ELLIS
I’m alone.
JANE
I’m alone.
ELLIS
We don’t have to be alone.
JANE
I do.
ELLIS
You don’t. I’m here. 
JANE
I.
ELLIS
It’s okay.
JANE
No.
ELLIS
Nothing’s okay.
JANE
Are you sick?
ELLIS
No. Kids don’t get sick. I mean most kids. There were some kids I read in New York that got something. But mostly we don’t get it. I don’t think we’re going to get sick. Did you get sick taking care of your Mom?
JANE
No.
ELLIS
Me neither. 
JANE
Where do you live?
ELLIS
The other side of the woods.
JANE
I live on this side.
ELLIS
I figured. My house has lots of rooms. You could have one.
JANE
I could have a room?
ELLIS
In my house. Yea.
JANE
With a hot plate?
ELLIS
There’s a really big kitchen. We could use my Dad’s money and shop and make dinner together. And breakfast and lunch.
JANE
Breakfast, lunch and dinner?
ELLIS
Normal.
JANE
Is it?
ELLIS
I don’t want to be alone. 
JANE
Are you scared?
ELLIS
Terrified.
JANE
I’m alittle scared.
ELLIS
Only alittle.
JANE
Only alittle.
ELLIS
How only alittle?
JANE
Life sucks. That’s what my Mom always said.
ELLIS
Our life never sucked.
JANE
Okay.
ELLIS
I think it’s cause we’re rich. I never thought about it. Come with me. I don’t want to be alone.
JANE
I’m usually alone. 
ELLIS
Even when your Mom was alive?
JANE
She worked and stuff. 
ELLIS
And you took care of yourself?
JANE
I guess so.
ELLIS
I like that you like museums.
JANE
What does it have to do with you?
ELLIS
It means you’re interesting.
I like to paint pictures.
JANE
You have paint?
ELLIS
I have a whole art room.
JANE
I never was in a house.
ELLIS
That’s impossible.
JANE
How do you know what’s possible?
ELLIS
Okay I guess I don’t. 
JANE
How many rooms in your house?
ELLIS
I never counted. 
JANE
There’s enough to count. Do you have brothers and sisters?
ELLIS
My parents both had careers. My Mom didn’t want to take more time off to have more kids. You?
JANE
Just me. My Mom had to work too.
ELLIS
My mom didn’t have to work. She just liked to work.
JANE
She liked to work?
ELLIS
Yea.
JANE
My Mom didn’t like to work.
ELLIS
But she had to work. 
JANE
Yea.
ELLIS
Do you like to paint?
JANE
I don’t have a favorite color.
ELLIS
That’s not what I asked.
JANE
I dream of the ocean.
ELLIS
There are no trees in the ocean.
JANE
There are different kinds of trees in the ocean.
ELLIS
There are no trees in the ocean.
JANE
There are sea trees. Look it up. On your computer. 
ELLIS
Come look it up with me and museums and pictures and school. You can come to school with me. 
JANE
What grade? 
ELLIS
Third. You?
JANE
I like the quiet.
ELLIS
I like the quiet too. I always came here. Before. You don’t answer questions.
JANE
I never saw you.
ELLIS
I saw you.
JANE
You saw me?
ELLIS
I did.
JANE
Why did you talk to me today?
ELLIS
I’m alone.
JANE
Don’t you have any friends?
ELLIS
I’m not very popular. Do you have friends?
JANE
Sure.
ELLIS
Where are they?
JANE
My friends don’t like the woods.
ELLIS
Can you go stay with these friends?
JANE
I don’t know. Maybe.
ELLIS
Do they have food?
JANE
I have a twenty and probably a lot of coins.
ELLIS
You’re money isn’t going to last.
JANE
If I’m careful.
ELLIS
You can’t be that careful. Just come with me.
JANE
You don’t even know how many rooms in your house.
ELLIS
There’s only one in yours. Want to go there?
JANE
I didn’t invite you.
ELLIS
I have an art room. And my bedroom. And I already told you about the kitchen and a dining room and a living room and a den and a study and my parent’s room and the guest room on the first floor and the guest room on the second floor and the guest room on the third floor.
JANE
There are three floors?
ELLIS
And a basement so four and a roof deck.
JANE
Five floors?
ELLIS
I guess. 
JANE
And eleven rooms. 
ELLIS
I didn’t count the bathrooms. You’re fast with counting.
JANE
I’m really good with numbers.
ELLIS
I like you.
JANE
I don’t know you.
ELLIS
You know me alittle. We’ve been talking. You’re brave. 
JANE
You’re chicken.
ELLIS
I’m chicken.
JANE
Why do I want to be with someone chicken?
ELLIS
Because you have to be with someone. People aren’t supposed to be alone.
JANE
People die all the time. 
ELLIS
People are dying more now than ever and it’s going to last a really long time. Longer than you can even imagine.  You can look at pictures at museums? And go to school. Come. Please say you’ll come. I don’t ever want to be alone again.
Jane thinks. 
Ellis is fighting an anxiety attack.
ELLIS
I’m a small mushroom, no bigger than a dime, at the root of your tree. I eat your digested glucose.
JANE
What color are you?
ELLIS
Shiny black with a mustard orange bottom.
JANE
Edible?
ELLIS
Poisonous. Except you could have a nibble.
JANE
Okay.
ELLIS
Okay, what? I hope.
JANE
Yeah.
ELLIS
You will?
JANE
I’ll come with you.
END OF PLAY